The subject of this seemingly endless ramble; whiny rant, of this posting is "why don't good, smart people 'get it'? This is mainly about my continued frustration with my immediate , 'in room daily' boss and some of my co-workers. It's kind of my own fault; I've seemingly dug my own grave in this situation. Many of you who know me will reply "REALLY?!?!?! SHOCKER!!"
My frustration begins with I tend to demonstrate the absurd by being absurd or using absurdity. Simply revealing this verbally as being such hasn't always been successful to me so I use examples and try to demonstrate in elementary levels. I often ask myself "why don't I just stop-- or even better yet, shut the hell up?" My warped sense of humor gets me into situations at times even I can't get out of. I use obvious, 'over-the-top' antics, phrases, comments, illustrations/pictures, etc to help and if I'm lucky, get a laugh or smile. I don't know why I crave this, I just do, it's a flaw. It diffuses tough situations for me
In the past 6 to 7 years, to my immediate, 'around me' co-workers, my sense of humor and humorous expressions aren't so obviously 'over-the-top'. I fail in my goal to demonstrate absurdity or someone else's absurdity or what I perceive is nonsense by being blatantly honest and simple. Does that make sense?
Though this frustrates me, it's not what ticks me off. What ticks me off is that my boss and co-workers horribly and dramatically fail to articulate what they mean in explaining my obnoxious, boisterous humor. When someone new or a new co-worker is introduced to me, my boss and co-workers tell them pretty negative things in a dismissive manner, "Oh, that's John, don't believe a word he says or whatever comes out of his mouth." And I've heard this too- "Don't believe but only half of what comes out of John's mouth, and then question that!" To me this is laughable and I do consider the source. However, what concerns me and worries me is what happens if there is a time I'm giving possibly life saving instruction and it's perceived as not important. Will this person take the necessary instruction or action I request or needed? You may laugh, but I've had this happen to me a few times. The usual response is "Well, I thought he was joking."
Eventually, these new people stick around overcome the negativity and labels put on me. I'm not smarter than anyone else here and not even funnier or the best at what I do. But I DO know when I'm licked. I give up. I really try hard to break lifetime habits and fail myself at immature actions and comments. MOST people get me and even like me where I work. I've been recognized every year for my willingness and cooperation with co-workers, partners, associates, the general public. It's the 4 or 5 people and my boss, who I truly admire and would like away from work, who seem to be the worse in this department. I'm just as guilty to a degree. I don't get these people and they don't get me. There's nothing wrong with that. We all have a job to do. As a flawed human, it angers me that they do this and they don't see the obvious- even after all these years. I think their response and actions when it comes to the above scenario disturbs me. Their unfairness and lack of things towards me that they expect from me upsets me too. But his is typical in any situation. My co workers are catty- if I do something above and beyond, I get chastised form my boss and co workers. If I compliment someone not liked or treat them nice or many times even talk to them, I'm condoning negative and bad things they do or are. If I say anything complimentary to my boss or immediate co-workers, it's immediately dismissed as "he's just joking, don't believe him". It's gotten to a point that nothing I say positive or the like is taken as what it is.
I think what upsets me most is that I let these people and their antics upset me. I've always been flawed and become like the environment and people around me. And to me I've become what I hate- a thinning skin whiny little bitch. I've grown accustomed to these co-workers I'm angry with. I care for them a great deal. Maybe I need a change of scenery. Maybe I'm over reacting. As I tend to do.
WHAT SAY YOU?!?!?! Comment- good or bad, negative or positive.
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH
It's been over a year since I posted anything here. I've been on facebook a lot. For the most part, I don't feel what I have to say is interesting or important enough to be read or heard, really. Facebook is a lot quicker for me to share links, etc.. You can follow me at https://www.facebook.com/johncthomas
or Twitter,
https://twitter.com/johncthomasii
