Terry Ducker - has been so much more than a dad to me whether he knows or not. Always there helping me to see how things actually are in his view. We disagree on some things, but agree on so much more. He sometimes changes my perceptions and challenging me to reaffirm what I believe in or think I know. I really try not to dwell on things we disagree on.I am truly thankful he's in my life. He's rebounding from a terrible stroke last year. It's hard to sit back and honor his wishes to do things for himself. It's hard for me to see him get so upset over too many things I don't think he should get so upset over, but that's one of the things we disagree on. I don't want to disrespect him. I'm thankful and fortunate he allowed a snot nosed 7th or 8th grader into his home and became a bad influence on his oldest son, one of my best friends, and adopt the rest of his kids as my own siblings. They are so incredible to me. Not many people grow up in a perfect family. All families have dysfunction. It's how we live through these imperfections and unhappiness that makes us strong and tests our character. We have to take the positives and love and the good times and memories and lessons learned to forge personal armor against life's more unfair than fair predicaments, imperfections and unhappiness. To me, a father steers his children through these waters the best he can. Sometimes north isn't always true when navigating life. Terry Ducker was and continues to be a very valuable, needed compass to me.
Joe Self is probably one of the most moral people I've ever encountered in my 46+ years on this planet. It is very unfortunate I don't make more time to at the very least call or stop by and say 'hello' to him. If there is a 'phrase' dictionary out there, for the phrase 'walks it like he talks it', he would be the FIRST example or definition. He would also be the first to shy away from such compliments. My 'brother from another mother' Terry Self is one of the luckiest people I know because of his father. Terry is probably one of the few people who will actually acknowledge this. Joe Self allowed gave me sanctuary more than a couple of times in my life when I was more than down only luck. They way he lived his life and took care of his family and myself at times was a no nonsense, caring, and instructional to me. He did not judge me for the predicament I was in at the time. He seemingly added more hours to the day for his son and at times for me. I'll never forget taking time to pass a football around with Terry and I in a field at Donaldson Center close to where he lived at the time. He can laugh at himself which is rare for many people. Only until recently did he hang up the cleats and baseball glove to stop playing softball for church. A church he used to preach at and still looked upon as many people's pastor. To me he's a firm believer of 'free will'. He won't beat you over the head with Christianity or the Bible, he'll simply show you or expose you to the truth and what path may be the best for you and allow you to make the choice to take it or not. You may not like what he says and it may contradict what you feel inside, but my experience is that he's dead on target. He'll be there for you at anytime of day or night. He's a calm voice of reason is emotional chaos. Joe Self is one of the few people out there you can actually believe it when he tells you 'everything's going to be alright'.
I'd like to stop rambling now and wish both of these guys as well as all the other dads out there a very Happy Father's Day...
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